Amany tells painful story of his mother’s short life

KABUL (Pajhwok): An Afghan man narrated painful story of his mother saying she was married in the age of 13, widowed when she was 18, forced to marry for the second time in the age of 21 and her life came to end at 33.

Amany said he had been in Germany from nearly the past 14 years. In 2009 he first illegally went to Iran from there he crossed into Turkey then Greece, then Italy and after a difficult journey finally he reached Germany. He shared the story of his mother with Pajhwok Afghan News.

He said his mother Maleka and his father Mohammad Yasin got married in 1985 but his father who was in the military was killed in 1988.

Hailing from the Syedabad district of Maidan Wardak province, during their childhood they lived in Kabul and after the death of his father their uncle took his small sister and brother to Maidan Wardak so that he and his mother should also go there, when they reached Wardak effort was made to force his mother marry for the second time.

He said after three months he and his mother had to go to their village.

Amani added: “When we reached our ancestral house, we saw my sister and brother playing in the mud and their faces, hands were dirty and cracks emerged on their legs and hands skin, when we entered home, my mother cried, took warm water and washed my sister and brother and applied oil on their hands and feet. Uncle had already found people to marry my mother to them on the same night, the information was shared with my mother by our uncle’s elder wife late in the afternoon, my mother prepared for the knife, stick and axe, they brought all three of them to our bedroom – which was called uncle’s guest house – and put the boxes behind the doors, that night my mother, me, uncle’s elder wife and uncle’s elder son guarded the room like trench. When people from my uncle side came they said that the lady is very attentive tonight and they could not achieve their goal.”

He said the next morning his mother wanted to go back to Kabul but his uncle stopped her.

He said: “My uncle separated us from our mother and started beating her but my mother went outside and called on people to help her, local people gathered and shouted at our uncle and forced him to allow us, we also tried to rescue our mother.”

“My mother went to her own relatives and complained, they try to teach his uncle a lesson but he was not at home and they also came to Kabul the next morning,” said Amani.

He said when in 1992 there was civil war in Kabul they were forced to go back to Maidan Wardak.

He said: “We spent few nights and then one of the nights we found there was noise in the courtyard. My mother asked others why there is noise they said that people came with weapons to get their loan from our uncle but suddenly an elderly man along with our uncle came to our room and congratulated my mother for her new marriage.”

“My mother cried and said I don’t want to get married, she told my uncle to refrain from marrying her for the sake of his dead late brother but he replied that now bushes had came out on the grave of his brother, that movement I can never forget . We all cried but the wrong tradition of our society forced us to be silent.”

They were left with uncle and his mother was married to a tailor who was deaf and disabled by one leg and they had to separated from their mother for eight years.

He said after his mother marriage when they got dispute with anyone so they receive massages like: “Go and free your mother from your uncle.”

His new father-in-law of his mother after 1-year convinced his uncle to allow them to meet their mother.

He recalled when they entered the new house of their mother she cried a lot and washed their faces and hands and give them the mother love.

Amany said they spent 13 days with their mother and then returned to their uncle’s house which was like prison for them.

He said later on his uncle migrated to the Muslim Bagh area in Quetta Pakistan and took them as well. He started work with a rich family there against 8,000 Pakistani Rupee.

After sometimes he narrated his story to that family and they adopted him like a family member and hired another person for the work.

One day he went to Quetta from Muslim Bagh and saw his step father in the old bus station that made him surprised.

Amani said after recognizing his mothers husband so he was able to again see his mother and started living with her. In addition, he started tailoring work in the shop of his step father.

Amany said his small brother and sister remained with his uncle and his mother was not allowed to meet them.

They were treated badly in their uncle house and one day he and his mother went to their uncle house to see his brother and sister.

Initially, his uncle agreed to let his small brother and sister go with them but later he refused and they went to the house of an influential Afghan person and told him the story.

Tribal elders decision was in their favor and they manage to get them out of his uncle house for ever.

In year 2,000, he, his mother, siblings and step father went to Iran due to economic hardship. In 2005, his mother and step father came to Kabul to participate in a wedding ceremony but her mother fell sick.

When he arrived in Kabul to inquire after the health of his mother his grandfather told him that his mother had passed away.

“My mother breathed last when she was 33, I lost parents when I was 19, my sister was 18 and my brother was 17.”

He said the life stories of most Afghans are similar full of sorrow and difficulties they witnessed similar problems which he, his mother and siblings went. Amany hoped that wrong tradition in society would eradicated and women would be able to get their due rights.

He completed his studies in social sciences, worked at different organisations in Germany and recently started awakening efforts for Afghans on social media which received a warm welcome.

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