AIBAK (Pajhwok): Abdul Hai, a 28-year-old man, who sells fruits and vegetables in northern Samangan province, says he cannot afford to buy gifts and visit his fiancée’s home on Eid after three years of their engagement, forget about marriage due to economic problems.
Abdul Hai is the only breadwinner of his 10-membe family. He told Pajhwok reporter that he earned up to 300 afghanis a day, enough only to barely meet his family expenses.
“I got engaged three years ago and when Eid comes, I wonder how to cover my fiancée’s Eid expenses. So I have to borrow money from someone to spend on Eid and in current situation on one lends money,” he explained.
He added: “First, when I got engaged, I went to Iran to find my wedding expenses and dowry, unfortunately, I was deported three months later and on the other hand, I borrowed money for Eid expenses. I haven’t paid the previous debts. I cannot cope with my economic problems.”
He was wondering how to solve his problems, manage dowry and take Eid gifts to his fiancée’s house.
Shujauddin Moashiri, a civil society activist, said taking Eid gifts to bride’s house had become a custom in the province.
“The backbreaking customs sometimes give birth to differences, clashes or separation of engaged ones”.
He said unwanted expenses on dowries and weddings forced a big number of youth to travel to other countries through illegal ways and this issue needed serious attention.
“Unawareness and illiteracy are behind such customs”.
Moasheri said: “If we really want to do away with such customs, all people and tribal elders must be given awareness through seminars.”
A religious scholar in Samangan Maulvi Bahruddin Abhar said taking pricy Eid gifts to fiancée’s home was not allowed in Sharia.
“Rich people spend money on such things and it saddens the poor people and takes away their joys on happy occasions like Eid.”
Abdul Hai said he did not buy gifts for his fiancée on one year and he received a call from her family and said: “If you do not bring Eid gifts for your fiancé, our relatives will insult us.”
It is not only Abdul Hai who is concerned about this tradition
Mahmood, another inhabitant of Aibak, the provincial capital, who married a year ago, told Pajhwok he would purchase fruits, clothes and gold and spend a lot on Eid and New Year due to this bad culture and as a result he had been unmarried for six years after engagement.
He said: “I borrowed a lot of money after getting married because I built a house for myself, paid an exorbitant amount as dowry. I purchased Eid gifts as expensive as 25,000 for my fiancé on Eids”
Zubaideh Iman, another resident of Aibak, said: “Not taking gifts to the fiancé is like shaming the girl family. The family of a girl, who is our relative, broke the engagement after the groom family’s did not bring new year gifts for her..”
She asked parents to not play with the lives of their daughters and not force the groom family to bring Eid and other gifts.
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