Unhealthy competition among people, its negative consequences

KABUL (Pajhwok): Some people engage in unhealthy competition with others, but experts say that comparing oneself with others not only reduces levels of happiness, but can also lead to feelings of inferiority, social problems and even “dangerous decisions”.

• Religious scholar: Do not compare yourself with others in material terms; this takes away peace and tranquillity.
• Psychologist’s advice to young people: Evaluate your life based on your own circumstances, values and capabilities.
• Stories of victims of unhealthy competition

A resident of Kabul’s 9th municipal district, Mujibullah, told Pajhwok Afghan News that two of his maternal uncle’s sons are in Germany, and he constantly compared himself with them. His only aspiration became that one day he too must reach Germany.

He added that last year he mortgaged his house in the area and set off for Germany through illegal routes.

He said: “I stayed in Iran for months, then from there I reached the Turkish border through smugglers. At that time there was heavy snowfall. With great difficulty, I crossed into Turkish territory with a group of companions. On the way, I was captured by bandits. I was held by them for about twenty nights. In the end, they took all my money from me, and I returned to my country empty-handed.”

He added that the result of comparing himself with others was that he neither reached Germany nor retained the money from mortgaging his house, and now he lives with his family in a rented house.

Mujibullah said that due to the hardships of illegal migration routes, he has developed pain in his legs and his health condition is no longer good.

He stated that unhealthy competition among young people is not a good thing and can sometimes even lead to death. He himself had faced the risk of death on illegal routes.

A resident of an Arzan Qimat area of Kabul, Maiwand Khaksar, said that one of their relatives has developed psychological problems due to such unhealthy competition.

He added that previously this person’s economic situation was good. Each of his sons was studying at a private university, each had a separate car, and all of this was done in competition with others.

However, Khaksar said that now the person’s economic situation has deteriorated. He has sold his house and car and is no longer able to compete as before. As a result, he has developed psychological problems and has reached the verge of insanity.

He added that unhealthy competition in life is not the right approach, and one must act with prudence in all circumstances so that life’s affairs continue smoothly.

A resident of Kabul’s 15th municipal district, Farishta, said that some women and girls also compete with others over clothing, houses, household items, gold jewellery and other possessions. They try to have more than other women, and if they cannot do so, they become distressed and feel inferior.

She added: “Women even buy new clothes for every wedding and every ceremony so that people do not say these are the same clothes she wore to the previous wedding.”

According to her, this behaviour sometimes leads to depression and even domestic violence, because some families do not have the financial capacity to meet such demands.

Farishta said that girls and women should consider the household economy when making demands and should not sacrifice their happiness under the shadow of unnecessary competition.

Negative consequences of unhealthy competition

Religious scholar Noorullah Kawsar said that according to Islamic Sharia, people should compare themselves with those who are superior in spirituality, piety, honesty and knowledge, and aspire to become like them one day.

He added: “In material matters, you should always compare yourself with those who are less fortunate and be thankful, saying: ‘Praise be to God, I am at peace and I have at least a morsel of bread. Look at that person whose condition is worse.’ You should not say: ‘That person has money, why do I not?’”

According to him, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) forbade people from comparing themselves with others in material terms, because such comparisons deprive people of peace and tranquillity and create social problems.

University lecturer and psychologist Dr Sharafuddin Azimi said that people compare themselves with others because they lack clear and stable criteria to determine their own value and status. As a result, they are compelled to measure themselves against others.

He said: “In my view, in Afghanistan these comparisons are widespread because people do not evaluate their lives, their efforts and their circumstances based on who they are, how much effort they put in, what their profession is and how much income they earn. Instead, they begin this assessment based on what they see in others, others’ displays and others’ successes.”

According to him, such competition exists not only in cities but also in remote areas. By way of example, he said that if one person goes on Hajj, others also try to go; if someone takes a second wife, others do the same; if one person buys a lot of land, others try to acquire more land; and if someone sends their children abroad for education, others follow suit.

Azimi said: “From a scientific perspective, or according to earlier psychological assessments — for example, Carl Jung, a leading psychologist, says that if comparison is for development, for growth or for self-improvement, it is good and healthy. But if comparison becomes a cause for undermining one’s self-worth, then it is harmful.”

He added that in Afghan society this practice has many negative aspects, and its harms outweigh its benefits. People compare their own shortcomings with others’ achievements, which leads to feelings of inferiority or the development of “envy and hopelessness”.

He said that sometimes unhealthy competition also leads to psychological pressure and even “dangerous decisions”.

According to him, this problem is more common among unemployed young people.

Azimi said that individuals must give value to themselves, and that value does not lie in money, cars or houses.

He added: “I have poor clients and wealthy clients who suffer from psychological disorders and come to me for help. I have never seen money give people peace of mind. A person must look for meaning in life, because meaning is not found in money or the lack of it. Meaning lies in creating a different mental and intellectual state; once that is achieved, a person can live a much more comfortable and peaceful life.”

Addressing young people, he said: “Evaluate your life based on your own circumstances, values and capabilities.”

The university lecturer added that although self-comparison is largely an individual matter, the government can also play a role in reducing its prevalence.

He said that the Islamic Emirate should also focus budgets and policies on strengthening education, because a large part of society remains poorly educated, and the educated generation needs the skills required by the modern world, such as artificial intelligence and new technologies.

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