NEILLI (Pajhwok): Some youth in southern Daikundi province have complained against the exorbitant expenses, high Toyana and unnecessary customs surrounding weddings and said these practices forced some youths to remain unmarried for years.
They said people in this province faced thousands of hardships to arrange basic life-saving items and pay their daily life expenses.
Jamshid Sultani, 35, the resident of Miramour district, is one of the tens of youth who could not get married due to the high wedding cost.
He said: “I am one of those who are victims of these unfavorable customs and traditions in Daikundi province, unfortunately, all people here are poor there is no work opportunities and I could not arranged the money needed for the wedding.”
He said that hundreds of other youth like him were unable to get married due to the same reason.
Sultani said: “I tried many times, but I could not arrange one million afs for the wedding expenses, now that I have passed the time of the wedding and I have not reached my dreams, even now if I get married, I will have to be in debt for several years.”
He said if youth like him get married in this age they will get older while paying their wedding debt.
According to Sultani, this tradition had been set due to the unfavorable practices and customs of their society and its main victims are youth.
Qurdratullah, the resident of Sangtakhat Wa Bandar district, said the cost of wedding which the groom has to pay in this province reached 700,000 afs and most of youth were unable to arrange this amount and they have to go abroad.
He maintained: “There are outrageous customs and traditions in this province, including exorbitant Toyana, sherbahas and other similar customs, all of which are against the principles of Islam and have caused thousands of young people to not be able to get married”.
He said that some youth have to migrate for years after their marriage to pay the debt they had taken for their weddings.
He added unfavorable customs and traditions in society, especially in Daikundi Province, had forced some youth not to get married, so they face thousands of problems and depression, which had even led to suicide in some cases.
Qudrat said: “Due to these unfavorable customs and high expenses, especially the new customs that are prevalent in Daikundi under different names, I have not yet been able to get married, and thousands of other young people suffer from the same situation.”
Fatima Rezae, one of the youth in Daikundi, also complained against these customs and traditions and said objection over Toyana is a taboo in the society and any kind of resistance against the family decision is considered sensitive.
She also said that many unnecessary customs and traditions existed in Daikundi and in some cases girls and boys are unable to get married.
She added: “Youth cannot pay the Toyana, girls are also not in the favour of high Toyana and could not say anything because parents get angry and say that people will then ask that what defect your daughter had that you charges less Toyana.”
She stressed if high Toyana is charged the victim is again the bride because after wedding the groom has work hard to arrange the amount.
Arif Hussaini, another youth from the Shahristan district, said heavy and back-breaking weeding expenses left negative and worrying effects on the lives of young people.
He said: “The custom is very bad, the expenses are exorbitant, there are engagement and wedding ceremonies and dozens of different customs and customs where only money is used, these customs and customs, all these customs are to loot the groom’s family.”
He added that society especially the ulem must raise voice against these customs and replace them with a suitable culture keeping in mind the economic situation of the country.
Religious Scholar Ayub alizada, said there was no justification of money charged on groom under Toyana and Sherbaha and it was in fact a price charged for the girl.
He said: “When a young man does not have the ability to pay for his wedding, he will have mental problems and will end up using drugs and other inappropriate activities.”
Din Mohammad Behzad, head of the Information and Cultural Affairs Department, said that high Toyana amount charged on grooms had development many problems for youth in this province and most of youth have remained unmarried due to this problem.
He said the people of Daikundi suffered from economic problems and the high amount of money required for marriage and family was out of their range.
He said the Information Department and other government institutions had worked hard in this regard and added that ulem and parents had key role in this regard to help reduce the cost of marriage in the province.
This comes that recently a number of youth during a meeting with Governor Mawlavi Najibullah Rafai shared their concerns in this regard and asked the governor to address this issue legally.
Governor Rafai pledged to find solution or the problems after discussion with ulem and relevant government institutions.
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