Forced marriages steal future from some girls

SHIBERGHAN (Pajhwok): In a quiet corner of Shiberghan, the capital of northern Jawzjan province, 20-year-old Sabera reflects on her life altered by forced marriage.

Deprived of education and subjected to physical abuse, she now pleads with families not to sacrifice their children’s futures to harmful traditions.

A victim of forced marriage

Sabera, a resident of Shiberghan, was only 15 when her parents compelled her to marry a man 15 years her senior.

At the time, she was in the seventh grade, unfamiliar with domestic responsibilities and unprepared for the realities of married life.

She entered marriage with hope — for peace, for love, and for a chance to continue her education.

“I thought they wouldn’t stop me from studying,” she recalled. “I imagined his mother would treat me like a daughter, and my husband would love me like a queen. I was just a child, full of dreams.”

But those dreams quickly turned into nightmares. Her marriage lasted only four months, during which she endured severe violence and abuse from her husband and his family.

“From the very first days, they began to beat me,” she said, her voice heavy with emotion. “They insulted me and starved me. Life became a prison. I had no hope left.”

Eventually, she fled back to her father’s house, her body bruised and spirit broken. Shocked by the state of his daughter, her father pursued a divorce.

A new beginning, new challenges

Following her divorce, Sabera found a glimmer of hope. With the encouragement of a relative, she returned to school and later enrolled in a midwifery training program.

“I studied at home and completed my training. Learning a profession gave me a sense of independence and purpose,” she said.

However, her happiness was short-lived. Just as she was about to start working at a clinic, her parents again pressured her to remarry — citing a common belief in the community that unmarried women should not live or work outside the home.

“The trauma of my first marriage still haunted me,” Sabera shared through tears. “I had sworn never to marry again. That’s why I fled with my younger brother to Iran, to live with my older sister — but the same story repeated. My sister also pressured me to marry.”

Breaking the cycle

The emotional burden eventually pushed Sabera to the brink. One night, she attempted suicide by taking an entire packet of pills. She survived.

“After the suicide attempt, my father finally realized how deeply I was suffering. He stopped pressuring me to remarry,” she said.

Sabera now urges families to let their daughters make their own choices. “Don’t destroy your daughters’ lives like mine was. Let them live in peace and decide their own futures.”

Another survivor: Gulsoom’s story

Sabera’s story is not unique. Gulsoom, from the village of Sufi Qala near Shiberghan, was forced to marry at 14. Her parents gave her away for a dowry of one million afghanis to a man 11 years her older.

“I was in seventh grade and loved school,” she said. “But whenever suitors came, my parents told me it was time to marry — that school didn’t matter.”

Today, eight years into her marriage, she is a mother of two — and deeply unhappy.

“I haven’t had a single joyful day. My husband doesn’t understand me, and I don’t understand him. We constantly argue. He often beats me.”

Gulsoom believes her parents valued money over her future. “They stopped my education because my husband’s family was wealthy. I’ll never do the same to my own children. They must study and only marry with their consent.”

Advocates Speak Out

Women’s rights activist Shoufa Ali Baik says forced and underage marriages remain common in Afghanistan due to illiteracy, poverty, and harmful traditions.

“These practices lead to domestic violence, emotional trauma, and divorce. It’s time to fight them seriously and educate families,” she said.

Religious Scholars: Consent Is Fundamental

Religious scholars agree. Maulvi Rohullah, a respected cleric in Jawzjan, emphasized that Islam strictly requires a woman’s consent for marriage.

“The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: A widow should not be married without her permission, and a virgin without her consent. Marriage without consent is not valid under Islamic law. A marriage without love, understanding, and agreement is oppression — not tradition,” he stated.

Mufti Nusratullah Mansoor, head of the Hajj and Religious Affairs Department in Jawzjan, added: “Islam doesn’t set a specific age for marriage but uses intellect and emotional readiness as a guide. Marriage should bring happiness — not sorrow.”

He said his department regularly works with local religious leaders and elders to raise awareness and prevent forced marriages.

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