A bullying way of seeking a girl’s hand in marriage

KABUL (Pajhwok): In some parts of Afghanistan, shots are fired into the air to claim a girl’s hand has been sought in marriage — a form of violence that often triggers family feuds and forces girls to stay unmarried at parental homes for the rest of their lives.

Officials say 11 such cases have been registered in southeastern Khost province alone. They assure efforts are underway to curb the unwholesome tradition.

In some regions, when a girl gets engaged, the groom’s family fires gunshots into the air as a token of joy and agreement between the two families.

However, in certain cases, young men fires shots near the girl’s house, signaling to the community that she belongs to him — without the her consent.

This damages the girl’s reputation. Even if another family is interested in marrying her, it holds back for fear of provoking enmity with the man who has already staked a claim.

These incidents often occur when a girl’s family declines a marriage proposal for various reasons, and the rejected suitor resorts to coercion, using gunfire as a means to assert his claim.

Tribal elders in Khost province slam the practice as un-Islamic, illegal and against social norms, often carried out by powerful individuals.

Toryalai Mangal, an elder from the province, told Pajhwok Afghan News: “Such incidents often occur when one person is weak and the other is powerful. The powerful man fires shots near the house of the poor man’s daughter or sister.”

He acknowledged neither the girl’s consent nor her family’s approval was taken into consideration in such cases.

Mangal recalled witnessing such incidents but could not cite a case where a family had actually given a girl in marriage due to such coercion.

However, if a family refuses to comply, it often demands an exceptionally high dowry as a deterrent.

Commenting on the future of such marriages, he explained: “There is a big difference between agreement and coercion. The oppressor must be stopped to banish this exploitative practice.”

Mangal noted the caretaker government had taken serious measures to discourage the tradition. He also stressed the need for promoting public awareness about the severe consequences of the custom.

People say even if a victim is forced to marry the man who fires the shots, she will carry a social stigma for the rest of her life.

Another tribal elder, Haji Ahmad Shah, said many victims either remained unmarried or were married off to influential individuals from tribes or villages, where the rejected suitors could not challenge the decision.

He recounted two instances of such gunshots. “In one of these cases, the girl is still at home, unmarried. In the other, the girl was married to her paternal cousins, who were strong enough to deal with any challenge.”

Some tribal councils have decided to exercise the family announcing the marriage of a girl by firing into the air. Apart from social boycott, the house of the individual concerned will be set alight.

Khost police spokesman Tahir Ahrar says, firm steps have been taken since the takeover by Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan (IEA) against those individuals who announce the marriage of girls by firing into the air.

Ahrar says the police department has registered 11 such cases in the past two years. Eight of these cases were resolved by tribal jirgas and the girls’ separation announced.

He adds three of the accused, convicted by courts, are currently serving jail terms. The incidents had happened before the IEA’s return to power, but police took action on the basis of complaints from some people.

The IEA had initiated serious measures following a decree banning forced marriages in 2022, the police official said.

The measures have been praised by local people, who asked security forces to help them eradicating the primitive tradition.

Religious scholar Noorullah Kausar says Shariah mandates the consent of the families of a boy and a girl for their marriage.

“Announcing the marriage of a girl by firing in front of her house is an action against the Shariah. If the girl is unwilling to marry a boy and he still fires into the air, this is sort of ignorance.”

No girl’s betrothal could be publicised by firing into the air, insisted Kausar, who urged the government to punish those involved in such acts.

Mufti Abdullah Abdali, the director of Vice and Virtue and Complaints department says, the number of such forced marriages had reduced since the takeover by IEA in Khost, if happened the perpetrators involved in such cases had already faced legal consequences.

Abdali says: “The Department of Vice and Virtue and Complaints documented nine forced marriage cases, which happened before the IEA takeover. Most of the cases have been resolved and the remaining ones will be addressed soon.”

The IEA had taken swift measures so that no one dared commit such offences, he added.

Abdali says IEA will not allow anyone to deny women or girls the rights that the Shariah has given them.

kk/aw/mud