Early marriages snatch joys from children’s lives

FEROZKOH (Pajhwok): Kharaman, a 42-year-old mother in western Ghor province, who was forced by poverty to marry off her 10-year-old daughter, says that at nightwhen she goes to sleep, she wishes her daughter was in her arms.

Forced and child marriages, a problem that has existed for many years in various parts of the country, often have severe consequences.

Child marriages for survival of other children

A girl named Razia, a resident of Ferozkoh, is one of the victims of forced marriages. Poverty and family’s financial struggles forced her to marry at the age of 10.

Razia, who has never experienced the true smile of a childhood, was married off by her family due to poverty and hunger, instead of playing and enjoying time with other children of her age.

Almost a year has passed since Razia’s marriage. She came to visit her mother’s house but sits quietly in a corner, reluctant to speak, as she fears saying something might land her in trouble.

Kharaman, 42, Razia’s mother, who feels her daughter’s pain more than anyone else, says: “At night when I sleep, I wish my daughter was in my arms; but she isn’t. It’s very hard for me. When I miss her too much, I go and bring her home for a few days.”

Regarding her daughter’s marriage, Kharaman recounts: “I married off my elder daughter to the son of a man, and his daughter was married to my son. Unfortunately, my daughter’s fiancé passed away. Her father-in-law came and demanded 600,000 afghanis. We didn’t have the money, so we were forced to give our young daughter to another son.”

Kharaman says her daughter was in the fourth grade and loved studying, but after going to her husband’s house, she was no longer allowed to attend school.

She explains: “My daughter is forced to do all the housework, from sweeping and cooking to washing clothes and taking care of the animals. It’s too much for her, but what can she do? She has no choice.”

Kharaman, with a voice full of pain, says that she is the only breadwinner for her family of eight. While enduring the endless pains of life, she not only sent her young daughter to another home but also carries the heavy burden of her husband and son’s addiction.

She also added her economic situation is not good, and while she is happy that her daughter is not hungry at her in-laws’ house, her main concern is the possibility of losing the rest of her children due to poverty.

She stresses that they now have to beg every day to feed her children.

Razia’s story is not the only heartbreaking one of a child forced into early marriage. There are many other girls who, due to harmful customs, poverty, hunger, and sometimes family pressures, have been married off at a young age.

Sabzar, another 40-year-old mother, also forced her 11-year-old daughter into engagement due to poverty and economic hardships.

She adds: “Out of necessity and debt, I gave my daughter away. We went to the man’s house and told him that our children are hungry, and asked him to marry our daughter to his son in exchange for wheat and barley each year.”

She explains her daughter was engaged to the man’s 20-year-old son and he promised not to conduct the wedding until she reaches puberty.

Sabzar’s daughter is currently in the fifth grade at a school in Ferozkoh, but it is uncertain when she will marry or what her future holds.

Experts

Zarmina Azimi, a social activist, says that the prevalence of harmful traditions in society and the existence of poverty are major factors behind child marriages. These can lead to lack of marital harmony, family discord, unhealthy child upbringing, and even an increase in suicides among girls.

She adds: “Child marriages result in gender inequality. At this age, girls are heavily impacted, and their rights are violated and overlooked. They cannot communicate properly, and the pressure from all sides can lead them to severe psychological problems, contributing to suicides.”

Ghulam Nabi Saqi, an education expert, says that in addition to economic poverty, illiteracy and lack of awareness among families are also major causes of forced and early marriages, which can prevent girls from attending school.

He says that forced marriages at a young age leave girls illiterate, unable to support their children’s education, and if their family is financially unstable, they cannot play a positive role, facing many additional challenges.

He believes that awareness campaigns through the media, mosque imams, and village elders can help prevent child marriages.

However, Obaidullah Barhani, a religious scholar, says that families should not force young girls into early marriages for the sake of providing for their household.

He adds: “A daughter is not a source from which we can earn money. It’s true that Islam has prescribed a dowry for girls, and it is their right, but it is not a means for fathers to sustain their household. This leads to many consequences and violence.”

He states that to address this issue, it is essential to provide families with education and cultural awareness, and the government should take necessary actions to prevent child marriages.

“Efforts being made to ensure women and girls enjoy all their rightful religious entitlements.”

Maulvi Abdul Basit Malazada, the head of the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice department in Ghorprovince, says that since the re-establishment of the Islamic Emirate, they have addressed 260 cases of forced marriages, 10 of which occurred this year.

He adds: “These cases include inheritance rights, domestic violence, and other issues raised by families or other government and non-government entities, and we have addressed them.”

He said they have resolved these issues through meetings with families, local elders, and by imposing penalties and fines.

He added that the IEA is committed to supporting women’s rights and works to ensure that women and girls enjoy all their religious rights.

sa/ma