Right to dower is promised, but never granted

BAMYAN CITY (Pajhwok): In some parts of the country, including central Bamyan province, women remain silent on one of their most fundamental rights — dower (mahr).

Mahr is a woman’s key Islamic and legal entitlement determined at the time of marriage. For many women, however, it is a cliché written on the wedding contract.

Khadija Akhlaqi, a middle-aged woman from Bamyan, says with a suppressed sigh: “It’s been about 25 years since I got married, but my husband hasn’t paid me a single afghani in dower. He doesn’t even consider paying it.”

Her dower had been set at 80,000 afghanis at the time of her marriage, but she has never been able to receive that amount.

Khadija’s story is far from unique. Zainab, Laila and dozens of other women in Bamyan — as indeed across the country– share similar experiences.

Zainab, another inhabitant of Bamyan who married 12 years ago, believes harmful traditions and customs have prevented most women from receiving mahr.

She explains: “If a woman asks for her dower, it often leads to negative consequences, including arguments, emotional distance and even divorce. That’s why I chose to stay silent.”

Laila, who has been married for 20 years, has also not received her dower fixed at 120,000 afghani.

She says quietly: “I asked a few times, but all I got in return was insults and indifference. Here in Bamyan, a woman may receive dower only if she gets divorced — and that too only if she’s lucky.”

Religious scholars stress that, from an Islamic perspective, dower is a woman’s legitimate right, and her husband is bound to grant it.

Cleric Niamatullah Sadeqi says: “Mahr is a financial obligation set in the marriage contract in accordance with the Islamic law. The husband is required to give it after marriage.”

He adds without mutual consent and determined dower, a marriage is not valid. Islam encourages modest mahr, but insists on its voluntary payment as a religious duty.

Sadeqi also emphasises women’s ight to demand dower at any time and have full authority over how to use it. No one has the right to interfere, intimidate or pressure a woman into giving it up.

Why are women denied this right?

Hajar Hosseini, a social activist, points to several factors: “Harmful cultural practices, lack of awareness, economic hardship and social taboos have made dower claims a matter of shame. In the eyes of many, a woman seeking her right is seen as dishonourable.”

According to Hosseini, when claiming one’s dower is viewed as a transgression, women are forced into silence, foregoing a right clearly protected by both religion and law.

A protected, enforceable right

Hajj and Religious Affairs Director Maulvi Mohammad Hanif Hanafi said: “According to the commands of Allah and the teachings of the Holy Prophet (PBUH), all women are entitled to mahr and no one has the right to deny them this.”

He pointed out women, who were denied their Islamic and legal right to mahr, could file formal complaints with judicial organs.

Although dower is enshrined in Islamic law as a non-negotiable right, in practice — particularly in regions like Bamyan –many women avoid seeking it for fear of social taunts, domestic conflict, or even violence. In the end, they often surrender their right — lock, stock and barrel.

sa/mud